Falling
by alphaangel
Summary: Three years later everyone thinks Mickey Webb is moving on, coming to terms with what happened to him. But they have no idea. Last chapter up now. All reviews really appreciated.
1. Climbing The Ladder

**Hi, thanks to Webbswoman for her kind review of my last fic.**

**This idea came to me while sat staring out of the window in an exceedingly boring Physics lesson. Please R&R. All will be gratefully received and much appreciated.**

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own The Bill or any of the characters. I'm just borrowing them.

**Falling**

**Chapter 1 - Climbing The Ladder**

I get through the day one step at a time, with my eyes closed. Surrounded in darkness, wrapped in a bubble, numb.

And when the numbness starts to fade I have another drink.

---

Jack could see he was struggling, see that he was unhappy. He waited for him to come, hoping that he would ask for help, thinking that eventually he would talk.

Jack would watch the younger man from his office, watch him for hours and he could see his desperation. Even if no one else could. And his heart ached with worry. Not knowing what to do.

Mickey would sit at his desk, looking blankly at the computer screen or a file. Jack knew that he wasn't reading it. He could see it in his eyes. They were clouded in pain, his blue eyes were hidden in distress. But even Jack had no idea of the extent.

---

I can't see a future, can't see beyond now. Beyond the darkness that I am falling into. Nothing to stop me, no one to catch me as I fall. And the truth is, I don't want anyone to. I don't want anyone to touch me. Don't want anyone around.

My house is haunted by him, by the memories and the dreams. I haven't slept in weeks, months, years even, because every time I close my eyes, he's there.

Work, at work everyone knows. I can tell by the way they look at me, the way they speak to me. I'm terrified of the small things, standing by the photocopier and someone comes to close, just a hand laid gently on my arm is enough to leave me shaking for hours.

I know that he isn't here, that they won't hurt me but suddenly I am back there, in the warehouse. It's dark, and it's happening, I'm stood in the station, but my mind isn't. I can hear him grunting, feel him pressed up against me, smell his smell. And it's happening again.

I just want it to stop and I don't care how.

I'm sat at my desk, at least physically I am. I can feel my elbows on the hard surface. Hear the general chatter and laughter. A few years ago I would have been there, in the middle of it all. Telling the joke. Now I've withdrawn into myself. Back into the darkness.

I can hear my name being repeated. It's muffled, like a wall is separating myself and the speaker. By the sound of it, the speaker has been saying it for some time.

I look up, falling back to Earth with a thud. It's the DCI, he's frowning, his look full of concern. He says something about going into his office. I lean back in my chair, unwilling, not wanting to talk, to hear his concerns.

But I give in, stand up and follow him.

---

The worry gets too much, so Jack goes over.

"Mickey?" There's no response.

He repeats it several more time and still no answer. He almost taps him on the shoulder, but knows better than to touch Mickey unexpectedly.

Finally he looks at Jack, his eyes are barely focussed. The office is loud and crowded and he doesn't want to be overheard.

"Come into my office." For a second Jack thinks that he's going to say no. Mickey looks like he's about to run but he doesn't. Instead he stands up and follows Jack.

Mickey enters the office and Jack shuts the door behind him.

"Take a seat." Mickey sits down in the chair. He sits stiffly. Not wanting to relax. Unable to drop his guard. Let Jack see how vulnerable he is.

"Is, er," Jack pauses, unsure how to word it. "Is something going on?" Mickey doesn't answer. He looks away, and then down at his hands.

"Please, talk to me."

Mickey stands up and walks over to the window. "There's nothing to talk about." His voice is emotionless, there's nothing there.

But there is something there. He's hiding it well. Face blank to the outside. Not sending out any signals.

---

I can't talk to him. Don't know what to say. Just want him to leave me alone. Eventually he lets me leave. Later I go home. Nothing touches me. I don't notice anything going on around me.

I'm not hungry, I'm never hungry and I know that I've lost weight. My clothes are loose, they're hanging off me.

I haven't eaten all day, I'm not hungry but I feel faint so I go into the kitchen to make myself a sandwich.

I'm shaking, I have been all day. Shaking so much that the knife slips. It grazes my finger. It's not deep, barely a scratch. But it bleeds, it takes a few seconds but it bleeds. Slowly the blood seeps out. Dark red. I watch it until it stops bleeding.

And I feel calm. So calm. I'm no longer shaking. My nerves are soothed. The cloud has thinned, there's a small, faint light in the darkness. It's fading already, but the memory is still there.

The pain felt good.

So I do it again.

I make a deep incision along my lower arm.

I watch the beads of blood appear, prickling along the cut. It reddens, slowly at first and quickly getting more and more inflamed, until it's angry and raw. I lean over the sink, allowing the blood to drip away on its own. I run the tap and watch it swirl and twist as it washes away, and again I feel calm.


	2. Standing On The Edge

**Thanks so much for the reviews, I have a ton of ideas for this story, glad you like it. Please R&R. Sorry if I change tense a bit here, I'm not very good with present tense. **

Disclaimer: I don't own any of this. Oh well!

**Falling**

**Chapter 2 – Standing On The Edge**

Mickey is sat in the corner of his kitchen, back against the wall, knees pulled up to his chest. The knife is still clasped lightly in his right hand. His left arm is sliced up with angry red cuts. His clothes are covered in blood.

He's pale, weak, but he feels calm.

Suddenlyhis body is shaking with sobs, disgusted at what he has become, frightened at what has done. What he may do.

---

My fear turns into anger. Terrified anger. Wracked with dread, hatred.

---

Mickey wakes after a disturbed nights sleep, his neck is stiff and it takes him a while to work out where he is, then, after looking down at his arm, he remembers.

And the sobs return.

---

And once again I carry on as normal. But I'm not and I never will be, never can be again. Thanks to him. It's all because of him. What he did to me.

I'm falling into a dark, bottom-less hole, a chasm, a meaning-less pit.

There's no ladder to cling to anymore, I'm just falling, falling. There's no way back out, nothing I can do but to fall.

Eventually, I may hit the ground and then, at least, I will know that I am as low as possible. There will be no further to drop.

That day, that horrible, life-destroying day, in the warehouse, I thought he would kill me. But after what he did do, I hoped he would kill me. But he couldn't even grant me that, he made me suffer on, couldn't take away the pain. He just left me there, he just left me, and he went away.

But he's still here and he always will be. Because I have discovered, in the last three years, that memories are stronger than the here and now.

I go to work again, careful to wear long sleeves to hide my scars, the physical results of my emotional pain.

I can see that Jack's worried and I don't want to be the cause of that. So I ignore it and withdraw, work's not even enough to keep my mind off the memories.

---

For a moment Jack is relieved, Mickey doesn't seem hung over today, there's no mention of the team going out the night before.

But another look at his pale, drawn face and Jack knows that he has found something else to numb the pain. He just doesn't know what.

"Alright?" Jack asks cautiously.

"Fine." Mickey replies automatically.

"Um," Jack thinks desperately of an excuse to keep the conversation going, "you got that forensic report from the burglary?"

"It's here somewhere." Jack looked down at the desk which was swamped with files and papers.

Mickey began pushing the files around. "It's here, it's definitely here, I saw it this morning." He began muttering angrily.

"It's alright," Jack can sense his tension. "Just stick it on my desk when you find it. No rush."

Mickey clenches his fists.

"Mickey, calm down it's alright."

"I just need some fresh air, I'll be back in a sec."

---

I can't take the look any longer. Making my excuses I get up and get out of there. I don't know where I'm going but I find myself heading to the briefing room. The lights are off and the blinds down. I slump in a chair and pull up my sleeve. Mesmerised by the marks.

---

Jack follows. He watches him enter the darkened room and stands in the doorway. Mickey's back is to him. He sees him pull up his sleeve and scratch away at the scars which criss-cross his arm.

---

"Mickey?" The voice is shocked, questioning. "What's going on? How'd'you get those scars?"

I freeze in the chair. There's no need to turn around. I know exactly who it is.

"Leave me alone."

---

Jack walks towards him and sits in the chair opposite. He takes a deep breath, knowing that he needs to handle this properly.

"How did you do that?" He says gently, knowing that it could have been no accident.

Mickey says nothing.

"I'm not stupid, I can see what's going on here. I know you too well."

Mickey frowns.

---

He thinks he knows me so well. But he doesn't. He hasn't got a clue what's going on in my head.

---

"Come on Mickey, talk to me. I can help, if just to talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"How did you do that?"

"Accident."

"That looks like more than one accident." Mickey doesn't reply. "Did you do it to yourself?" Jack held on to the hope that he would have some reasonable answer.

Mickey stood up to leave.

"You're not going any where until you talk to me." Jack placed himself between Mickey and the door.

Mickey took a deep breath. "Get out of my way."

"Just talk to me, five minutes that's all I want.

"Get out of my way."

"No."

"I'm not going to say it again."

They stare at each other. Neither wanting to make the next move. Suddenly Mickey panics and tries to push past the DCI. Jack grabs Mickey by the arm.

"Don't touch me."

"How did you do this? Hmm?"

"Let go of me. Let go of my arm." Mickey frantically tugs his arm away from the DCI's grasp and rushes out of the door.

"Mickey come back."

---

That's it, I've had enough. I don't want to be here any more, this is where it started, where it all started and I've had enough. Everything goes wrong in this place. Well not to me, not any more.

The guv follows me as I storm away, back to the office, to my desk. I've made up my mind.

---

"Mickey, where you going?"

"Home."

"It's only quarter past nine." The DCI said looking at his watch.

I turn to him, look him in the eyes. "I know. I quit. I've had enough."


	3. And Then I Just Let Go

**Thanks for the reviews. Well here it is, here's chapter 3.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bill or any of it's characters. If I did I would be very, very rich. But I don't. Shame.

**Falling**

**Chapter 3 –And Then I Just Let Go**

"Don't be stupid!" Jack's eyes are wide open in shock. The office goes quiet, everyone stops and looks at them.

Mickey laughs. "For the first time in years I'm not. I'm getting out of this place before it screws me up any more!"

"Mickey, you're not thinking straight."

"Yeah I am." He turns and walks out of the office. Jack follows behind.

---

He's coming after me, convinced he can change my mind but I'm right, I know I am. This place is responsible for so many people's pain. Not me, not any more.

---

"Mickey, come back, talk to me." Jack hurried after him. Caught his shoulder as he tried to get through the door.

"Get off me, Jack!" Unable to shake him off, Mickey turned and pushed wildly at Jack with more force than he meant to use. Jack fell back onto the wall hitting the side of his head as he went. He put his hand to the wall to stop himself falling.

Mickey stopped trying to run. "Jack? I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" And he turned and left the station.

---

I didn't mean to hurt him, I just wanted to get away. I was just angry. Now I'm outside I'm not to sure what to do. I don't know where to go.

I want to go to my Mum, I need to see her, need to talk. Seeing her always helps me think. I retreat to the place that I have so many times before. I go to the graveyard.

I can hardly remember the drive there. I certainly wasn't driving with 'due care and attention.' But it's ok because I'm here now.

The sight of Mum's grave makes me feel so guilty. She always used to stop me loosing my temper. She hated seeing me angry and now look at what I've done.

I didn't mean to hurt Jack, he's always been there for me and I just pushed him away.

I hope he's ok, why didn't he just let me go?

---

The sickening ache of concern grew in the pit of Jack's stomach. He reached over for his car keys so many times only to stop himself. It was him who had caused Mickey so much trouble. He had scared him, that's why he had acted to out of character.

There was no denying it, that was not the Mickey that he knew.

And the worst thing, he hadn't noticed it happening, hadn't noticed Mickey change.

Jack could not get the image of Mickey's scarred arm out of his head. Could Mickey have really been so unhappy that he would do that to himself.

And that lead him to the question; what else might Mickey be desperate enough to do?

With that thought Jack's concern turned into pure dread.

He reached over for his keys once more and again stopped himself. He was the last person that Mickey wanted to see right now.

He tried to ring Mickey on his mobile, just to check that he was ok. The phone went straight to answer phone. He tried several more times but was never able to get through. He tried Mickey's home phone. It rang several times until the answer phone finally cut in. Even the voice on that didn't sound like Mickey. It was quiet, nonchalant, apathetic.

By mid afternoon Jack gave up trying to ring and went round to Mickey's house. He banged on the door and shouted through the letter box but there was no movement, eventually he had to accept that Mickey wasn't there.

He got back in his car and sat there for several moments trying to work out his next move. Where could Mickey have gone? Then it hit him like a bolt of lightning and he couldn't believe that he hadn't thought of it sooner.

---

I've lost everything that I care about. What's the point? There isn't any. I scratch at last nights scars. The physical pain some how managing to numb the mental. But it only takes the edge of it. It's like taking paracetamol for a broken arm, It just doesn't quite do it.

I've had enough of it all. The pain, the anger, the fear and most of all the overwhelming, all consuming guilt.

What's the point of hanging on anymore? Why not just let go? I always thought that eventually it would have to get better but it isn't. Why am I bothering?

What have I got to live for?

Nothing.

---

With the traffic it was already early evening by the time Jack pulled into the car park beside the cemetery and the sun had set leaving long shadows below the trees.

He walked along the path and squinted to see a figure beside a dark grave in the twilight. Then he realised that the figure was lying down on the damp grass.

Without thinking he ran towards it, subconsciously knowing exactly what he would find.

Mickey was lying near enough unconscious on the ground, blood covering his clothes and a deep wound across his wrist.


	4. Floating And Falling

**Falling**

**Chapter 4 – Floating And Falling Through A Vast Hollow Of Darkness**

And suddenly I'm flying, defying gravity. Darkness is swallowing me up, swallowing up the pain. It hurts at first, but with each pulse of my heartbeat it is slowly washing away. Until it's gone, I'm gone, my pain is gone. The gloom is swirling around me like storm clouds, hushing the sounds, the fear, the depressing emotions that have been tormenting me for the last three years. It's blocking them out, making them no longer. Making me no longer.

I feel the warm damp of the blood covering my clothes. I didn't realise that I had so much of the stuff. I don't try and stem the flow, why would I? What's the point?

I'm dreaming, with a smile on my face, dreaming of an array of colours lighting up the sky in a dancing kaleidoscopic of streaks. It's beautiful, so beautiful, words can not describe.

I think of my Mum, I see her face before me, the face that mean home, happiness, safety. I used to think that she was indestructible, like every child, I thought that she could solve anything. When I grew up I still believed it, until she died, and everything went wrong. But now we're together, forever, and nothing will ever be wrong again.

My Dad, who I hardly knew. Who hurt my Mum so much that I could never forgive him. I feel only hatred for the man that beat her.

It feels like I weigh nothing at all. I am nothing at all. Floating, flying, like a leaf caught in a breeze, soaring high above the graveyard.

And then I fall, gaining velocity quickly. I brace myself before I hit the ground.


	5. Caught, Mid Fall, By A Pair Of Strong

**Thanks for the reviews.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bill.

**Falling**

**Chapter 5 – Caught, Mid Fall, By A Pair Of Strong Arms **

Jack watches Mickey stir, tying himself in knots with the bedding. His eyes catch on the clean white bandage wound neatly around his wrist. Jack stands up and walks over to the window which looks out over the hospital car park. He's still stunned by the events of last few hours.

Hearing more movement behind him, he turns to see that Mickey was coming round.

Mickey looks confused and dazed for a moment and then he closes his eyes, sighs and mutters. "It didn't work then."

Jack makes a choking sound, unable to say anything.

"Why didn't you just leave me?"

Jack couldn't answer for several minutes. He took a deep breath. "Because I didn't want you to die."

"Why not?"

"I'm not going to answer that. Why did you do it?" Jack sat down in a hard plastic chair which was beside the bed.

Mickey sighed. "Why d'you think?"

"I don't know." Jack said shrugging.

Mickey looked him in the eye and said honestly. "Because I wanted to die. I've had enough."

"Why now, you were doing so well."

"No, I wasn't."

"But why now?"

"I finally realised that it wasn't going to get any better." Jack frowned, confused. "At, at first I could take the anger and the fear and the shame and everything 'cos I thought that eventually it would get better. I could see a light at the end of the tunnel." He paused. "But it's been three years, and it still hurts so much. I don't want to put up with it anymore. Why should I?" He muttered wearily, struggling to explain how he felt.

"I know that you've been unhappy, been drinking too much. I had no idea that it had got this bad." Jack sighed. "Why didn't you talk to me?"

"'Cos talking doesn't help."

"If I'd have known that you were so low, I…"

He looked up. "You'd've what?"

"I could have done something, anything."

Mickey shook his head and shrugged. "I've tried for so long to get over it, but I can't. I don't want to live like this."

"You can't just give up and end it all."

"Why not? It's my life. There's no point in living when I hate every single second of it."

"You can't mean that."

"About hating every second of it? I do, I can pretend that I don't, I have been. But I can only lie to myself for so long. I feel terrified all the time. Just someone coming too close when I don't expect it, I, I feel sick, it's like it's happening again. And each time it's worse. Each time it hurts more."

"But you can't have meant to do this."

"Jack, this wasn't a cry for help or anything. I meant to do it. I meant to kill myself."

"I'm not going to let you give up. You deserve more than that."

"I gave up along time ago."

"I'm going to help you."

"What for?"

"For you. I should have been there for you all along."

"Nah, you're not doing this for me. You're doing this to make yourself feel better. You're just as bad as him. He ruined my life and then left me to suffer. I wish he'd killed me before he left the warehouse. I wish he'd just put me out of my misery. My life ended that night."

"I can't believe you're saying this."

"It's the truth, it was you that wanted to talk."

Jack turned back to the window as Mickey wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"I've known you for along time Mickey, you're not just a colleague, you're also a friend. It's hurts to see you like this, to see you so unhappy. I know that this isn't you, you wouldn't give up. Not when you've come so far."

"I've changed Jack, I've had to."

"No you haven't, not this much. I've watched you, when you haven't noticed it. I've seen you stand back up every time something happened and you can do that again."

"I don't know if I can."

"You can, I know you can. I have complete faith in you."

"You do?" Jack nodded.

"I, I don't know what to do. I've tried everything to forget what happened."

"I don't think you can, I think you just get on with it, you just have to accept it."

"It's not that easy, he, he," Mickey took a deep breath, wiping away the tears prickling in his eyes, "he raped me, he raped me and he took away everything, everything that I had." He swallowed and blinked in an effort to regain his composure.

"Yeah ok, it happened, Delaney raped you and I cannot even begin to understand what you went through, I have no idea. But don't let him ruin your life, don't let him take it away. He is a weak, weak man, you're ten times the man he is. Don't give up."


	6. Standing Back Up

**Sorry it's been so long, exams and Christmas and all that. Here's chapter six.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the Bill, but I wouldn't mind it for Christmas. Maybe as a late present. Please?

**Falling**

**Chapter 6 – Standing Back Up**

Mickey was released from hospital later that week. Jack was once again by his side.

"Come on," Jack said walking down the corridor. "Lets get you home."

Mickey stopped just inside the hospital exit. "I don't know if I can, I can't go on like before, pretending that everything's ok."

"You don't have to. Not any more."

Jack drove Mickey home. There was an awkward moment as Mickey let him in through the door. The place was a mess.

"Tea?" Jack asked cheerfully. Mickey followed him into the kitchen. Jack stopped and gasped as he entered the room. On the work top was the knife Mickey had used to cut himself and the surface was covered in blood. "Christ, Mickey!"

Mickey looked down, embarrassed. He walked over to the knife and picked it up. He looked down at it closely and was transported back in time, for a moment he forgot that Jack was there.

---

Oh god, I had forgotten about the blood and the knife and the mess. I didn't realise it had been so bad. I feel sick at the sight yet strangely drawn towards it.

---

"Mickey? Mickey?"

Mickey looked up and dropped the knife in the sink. "Um, tea?" He looked over at Jack ignoring the knife.

"Yeah, please." He smiled to cover his embarrassment and apprehension.

They sat at the table drinking cups of tea. Mickey held the warm mug in his hands.

"So, have you thought about what you're going to do?" Jack started gently.

"Dunno."

"You'll come back to work, won't you." Jack held his breath as he waited for the answer.

"I quit, remember?" Jack's heart dropped.

"I didn't tell the Super. as far as he's concerned, you're off on sick leave, he doesn't even know what's wrong. I didn't think you were in any state to make a decision like that."

"I meant it." Mickey said quietly, looking down.

"Why?"

"It's just, if I hadn't come here then my mum wouldn't have died and, and I, I wouldn't've, he wouldn't have, Delaney wouldn't have, have raped me." He still struggled to get that word out.

"You can't say that, you never know what might have happened. You might have gone somewhere else and walked out into the street and got hit by a bus whose driver wasn't looking where he was going."

"And that would have been worse than my mum dying and me being raped?"

"No perhaps not, but, you never know what might have happened. You can't blame a place and running away isn't going to help, it'll catch up with you eventually."

"I needed to do something and everything here seems to go wrong."

Jack paused for a while, not knowing what to say. "Running away isn't the answer." He stopped for a second thinking, wondering if this was the right time, whether Mickey was ready. "And neither is harming yourself."

Mickey didn't say anything, he just subconsciously ran his finger gently over the scar on his left wrist.

"Why did you do it?" He asked quietly.

Mickey shrugged. "It just stopped me thinking about it for a while, couldn't think past the pain."

"But it didn't make you any happier, did it?"

"For a while, then I realised what I'd done, what I'd turned into. It scared me." He looked over Jack's shoulder out the window and then back to Jack. "I don't want to feel this way."

"You can get over this, I know you can."

"I don't know if I can. I, I don't know how."

"I'll help you, you just need to talk to me. You can't keep it all locked in side, you've tried that, it didn't work."

Mickey took a deep breath and nodded.

"I think you should come back to work-"

"I dunno."

"Listen to me, it's not going to help sitting 'round the house all day is it? There's to much time to think."

Mickey shrugged nonchalantly. "Alright, I'll come back to work. Um, are, are people talking about me?"

"Some of CID were, a bit, after you said you were quitting, I asked them not to say anything to the super. I told them that you were taking some time off."

"Thanks. Are you going to make me tell the super. what I did."

"No, that's your choice."

"D'you think I should."

Jack thought for a second. "I don't know."

"He's going to work it out sooner or later, isn't he?"

"Yeah, he's not stupid. That scar'll give it away."

"I don't know whether I can face talking about it, I'll have to tell him everything, won't I?"

"He probably knows about the rape, someone will have mentioned it to him."

---

I'm torn, confused. Everything has happened so fast and I'm not sure what I feel anymore. What Jack is saying makes sense. I know that he wants to help me.

He's right, at the moment I'm too much of a mess to make any decisions. Should I talk to the super? I don't want to but I'd prefer he found out from me rather than someone else. But what if he gets rid of me. After all, I'm a liability. How can I be trusted with other peoples lives when I can't even look after my own.

Oh, I don't know.

---

"You can do this Mickey. We'll take it one step at a time. You've just got to dust yourself off and stand back up."


	7. Holding On

Thanks for the reviews, hope everyone had a good Christmas. Happy new year! Chapter 7 – Holding On 

Mickey was sat in a chair in front of Jack's desk.

"There's no need to look quite so terrified, all you've got to do is talk to him."

Mickey sighed. "You make it sound so easy."

"D'you want me to come with you?"

"Nah." He shook his head. "Yeah. No. Yeah. Yeah I do."

"Final decision?"

"Yeah."

Jack looked down at his watch. "Come on then, he's expecting you at nine."

---

I stopped outside the Super's door and backed away. "I can't."

"You can. Just talk to him."

"Right." I sighed.

---

Jack gently propelled him through the door.

Superintendent Heaton looked up. "Ah, DC Webb, sit down." He looked questioningly up at Jack.

"Mickey asked me to be present."

The super looked a little confused. "I hope you're feeling better?"

"Er," Mickey looked up at Jack. "Yeah, kind of. That's, um, what I wanted to see you about. I, um, you see, I…" He looked over at Jack. "… This is, this is a waste of time." He stood up.

With experience Jack knew that Mickey would try to flee so, anticipating this, he had positioned himself between Mickey and the door. "Mickey, sit down."

Mickey took a deep breath ready to argue and then changed his mind and sat back down.

"Start at the beginning." Jack said quietly.

"Um, three years ago, I, I, um, a suspect, er. Three years ago I was raped by a suspect, by, by Martin Delaney." Mickey looked down at his hands which were shaking in his lap.

"I remember reading about it at the time. I didn't know who the victim was." He flushed as Mickey cringed at the word victim. "I mean, I never knew who the officer was."

"Yeah, well, I, um, haven't been handling it too well recently. A few weeks ago I started self-harming, at, at first it was just an accident, but, you know, it got out of control. Then, I tried to kill myself, I, er, slit my wrist, but Jack found me, he saved my life. That's what I wanted to tell you. That's where I've been, hospital, I wasn't ill, well I suppose I was."

"Um, right. Jack you felt you should keep this from me?"

"I can't break Mickey's confidence, Sir." Jack had began to look slightly angry at the super's tone.

"DC Webb perhaps you should wait outside for a moment. Thank you." Mickey stood up, dismissed.

"Guv?"

"Wait in my office Mickey, I won't be long."

Mickey opened his mouth. "Yes, Guv."

---

My legs are shaking from telling him, as I walk up the corridor they're still shaking. That went badly. _Victim? _I hate that word. Makes me feel sick. I don't want to be a victim. But, maybe that's what I am.

Heaton actually made me feel guilty. I wish I hadn't told him. I dread to think what he is saying to Jack.

Shit! Here's Jack now!

---

Heaton stood up from behind his desk. "You should have told me as soon as I came to this station."

"Told you what?"

"That, that he had been raped."

"Why? It was along time ago. Mickey had put it behind him."

"You should have told me, he's, he's a liability."

"No, he isn't! Three years ago he went through the most horrific experience that anyone could go through. You have no idea. And he has done everything he can to get over this but it's hard and he's struggling."

"That does not change the fact that he tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago."

"Yes, I know. It was me that found him lying on the ground next to his mother's grave bleeding to death."

"Exactly. He is a liability."

"No he isn't. He's no more of a liability than I am."

"Jack you lied to me, you should have told me all this long ago."

"I didn't lie to you. The subject never came up. It's not a secret, several people knew at the time. Mickey put it behind him."

"Clearly he hasn't!"

"He's just made one slip up."

"I'm not happy about him working here."

"Sir, with all due respect, I will not allow you to get rid of him. He was attacked while working for this station, you can't just hide him away somewhere because it is inconvenient."

"It's not that, I can't risk him doing this again."

"Look, sir, this was my fault, I should have watched him better, I didn't realise things had got so bad for him, I'll watch him better, I won't let it happen again."

"Jack, it isn't your job to watch him."

"Yes it is. I messed up. I pushed him too hard, I didn't trust him and I told him that he wasn't doing his job properly. He went after that, that animal for me. And when it happened he couldn't talk to me, he couldn't talk to anyone. I heard it from another officer who'd guessed. I owe him. I let him down. It took a lot of courage for him to tell you. Mickey finds it so hard to talk about. He very rarely mentions it, even to me. Please just let me handle it. Mickey's strong, he can get over this."

"Alright, Jack, but I want to know what's going on. I'll be watching."

"Sir."

Jack returned to his office to find Mickey stood anxiously at the window.

"Mickey?"

"Guv? What did he say?"

"Hey, calm down. He just wants me to keep an eye on you."

"It took along time for him to say that."

"Ok, he needed a bit of convincing. He was just shocked."

"Yeah, I could tell. You're not in trouble for not telling him, are you?"

"No, he was just angry, he didn't realise what you'd been through."

"What was I supposed to do, make an appointment with him as soon as he go here and say 'hi, I'm DC Webb, just to let you know, I was, I was, you know.'"

"Yeah I know."

"I wish I hadn't told him, he's going to treat me differently now, everyone does."

"How do you know that, how many people have you actually told."

"After he told everyone, they all treated me differently."

"No you didn't give them the chance to get used to it. You were out of here within a few hours."

"They were really weird around me whenever I came back here. I dreaded having to come here on a job."

"They just didn't know what to say. People care about you, they feel bad that you went through all that."


	8. Ready To Slip

**Hi, sorry it's been so long, I've been busy failing exams and driving tests.**

**Thanks for the reviews.**

**As usual I don't own anything, shame...**

Chapter 8 - Ready To Slip

Getting back to work was something of an anticlimax for Mickey. He didn't really know what he had expected. He knew everything wouldn't suddenly fall into place, that it wouldn't suddenly be easy but he had hoped that something would have changed, that there would be a light at the end of the tunnel. But there was nothing.

He tried to throw himself into his work like he had done so many times before and for a few days it worked but eventually he found himself struggling to get up in the morning, it became difficult to get through the day without something to release the tension.

He felt paranoid, thinking that people where whispering about him behind his back. And the worse thing was that he knew that it was all in his head, that it was something wrong with him. He could blame no one else, make no excuses, it was him and only him.

Jack was so shaken with the feeling of guilt, that he had resolved to never allow this to happen again. So he watched Mickey like a hawk and saw him become visibly exhausted. He knew that Mickey was ready to slip. He saw Mickey sit at his desk, clenching his fists and biting his bottom lip.

Jack went quietly up to Mickey's desk. "Come on," he said quietly, "let's have a chat." Mickey followed him into Jack's office.

Mickey slouched in the chair in front of Jack's desk. He looked despondently out the window.

"Things are getting you down again, aren't they?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He said quietly.

"What is it?"

"I, it just doesn't feel like anything's changed, I feel the same, worse. I," he sighed, "I'm sick of it Guv, all of it. I've had enough."

"Look, Mickey, I know you don't want to hear this but, I think that maybe you should think about seeing a counsellor again."

"No, Guv. Been there, done that." Mickey said defensively.

"I know but last time you saw her for the rape, it's not just that anymore, you're depressed, self-harming, you tried to commit suicide."

"I know, I know. But, I really don't want to see a counsellor Guv."

"I know you don't but you said yourself that you're sick of it, you've got to do something about it. Please, just think about it."

"Alright, I'll think about it." He stood up. "I'm going to take a walk, clear my head."

"That's a good idea."

---

I don't want to see a counselor, it was bad enough last time. It was horrible. Just talking about it. It made me feel sick having someone listen to the details, asking questions in that detached way they all do. I just wanted to forget about it but she used to bring it all up again. She would never just let me forget about it all. I don't want to see a counsellor.

But I don't want to feel like this anymore, I can't.

In the hospital they gave me anti-depressants, they're still sat on the shelf in my bathroom cabinet, I don't want to rely on drugs. I've seen the results of that too many time before, not necessarily anti-depressants but I don't want to be like that.

I know that Jack wants to help me, he'd only ever suggest something that he thought was for the best but he doesn't know what it's like, how can he possibly understand?

But he's doing his best to understand, to help. What harm can it do? It'll hardly make things worse, will it?

I don't want to but I'll give it ago. For Jack.

---

After a few hours Mickey was ready to return to the station. He found the DCI in his office.

"Guv, can I have a word?" He asked poking his head round the door.

"Yeah 'cause, come in."

Mickey took his usual place slumped in the chair staring out of the window. He turned to look at Jack. "Um, I've thought about what you said." He paused.

"Yeah."

"Alright, I'll give it a go, worth a try, isn't it?""

"Good." Jack smiled. "I'll make you an appointment."


	9. When You Feel Like Letting Go

**Sorry it's been so long I've been busy looking at Uni's and failing my driving test again.**

**Thanks for the lovely reviews of last chapter.**

Disclaimer : I don't own the Bill. Unfortunately...

Chapter 9 – When You feel Like Letting Go.

It was raining, water running down the windscreen in great long drips. Mickey was gazing out the window, not really focussing on anything in particular. He took a deep breath trying to rid himself of the sick feeling that had haunted him since he had agreed to go.

---

The counsellor was in there waiting for me. A different one to last time but they're all the same.

In my peripheral vision I can see Jack opening and closing his mouth, like he wants to say something but can't.

I glance at the clock. Four minutes to go. I feel so sick.

---

Jack watched him out of the corner of his eye. He saw the tension in his face and wondered whether he was doing the right thing. Could this all make it worse.

He glanced at the clock as well. He was counting down the minutes. Feeling every second drip by like the rain down the windows.

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" Jack said, finally breaking the silence of the last fifteen minutes.

Mickey swallowed loudly. "Sure, I need to do this by myself. I've got to."

"You'll be ok." The sentence hung in the tension filled air. Mickey wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, so it went unanswered.

"Better go." He muttered nodding at the clock.

Without saying anything else Mickey opened the door. He swung his legs out and paused for a second, mouth opened ready to say something then changing his mind and silently got out, slamming the car door behind him.

Jack watched him trudge up the steps to the formidable looking building, head bent down against the pounding rain.

Unable to stand the quiet, Jack hit the button for the radio and turned it up loudly. He let the unfamiliar music surround him, not paying any attention to what he was hearing, too deep in thought to notice.

Jack didn't realise that he had been staring at the door to the clinic until it opened an hour later and Mickey stumbled out. He jumped and turned the radio off just as Mickey reached the car.

He silently got it.

"How was it?"

"Fine." Sensing he wasn't going to get much more out of him Jack started the engine.

Mickey's finger hovered over the button for the radio. He looked over at Jack for approval, not wanting to sit in the awkward silence. Jack caught Mickey's eye and nodded.

Mickey lent his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, letting the familiar and calming opening chords wash over him.

_When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone,_

_When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on_

_Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes_

_Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along_

_When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on)_

_If you feel like letting go, (hold on)_

_When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on_

_'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends_

_Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand_

_If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone_

_If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long,_

_When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on_

_Well, everybody hurts sometimes,_

_Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes_

_And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on_

_Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on_

_Everybody hurts. You are not alone._

"The counsellor wasn't so bad." Mickey muttered as the song ended.

"No?" Jack didn't take his eyes off the road but could see Mickey out of his peripheral vision.

"She said that I was using self-harm to maintain some aspect of control."

Jack frowned. "Her words, not mine!" Mickey smiled. "And that I'm punishing myself."

"You've got nothing to punish yourself for."

Mickey shrugged. "Sometimes I think that I was asking for it, by going after him."

"You were doing your job."

"Nah, I made it personal, I was like a dog with a bone, I just wouldn't let it go."

"Well, I think that was mostly my fault."

"I was stupid, thinking that I was invincible. No ones indestructible. If only I'd just waited for back-up."

"Then he may have escaped. We might have never seen him again, he might have attacked countless other women by now."

Mickey swallowed. "I, I sometimes wish that I had just let him go. It's selfish I know. I feel so, so guilty just for thinking it. I just think why me, why should I suffer. What did I do that was so bad?"

Carefully Jack pulled over, they sat in silence for a few minutes. "Mickey, every victim of a crime wishes that it happened to someone else. It's natural, you shouldn't feel guilty. You've never done anything bad. It was Delaney who did the 'bad' thing, not you."

They sat in silence for another few minutes. Then suddenly out of the blue- "It took me a while to work out what he was going to do to me, you know, when he, he…"

"When he raped you?"

"Yeah. I though he was just going to wack me about a bit. Then I realised, and I was terrified. I tried so hard to get free but no matter what I did I couldn't get away from him, from what he was doing to me. And then he just left me there, still tied up. He just went. He laughed at me and went."

"He committed the worst crime possible against you."

"You think rape is the worst crime?" Mickey asked looking up.

"Yeah, I didn't before but now. Yeah, I think rape causes the most damage to the people involved."

"Mmm, I think it is the worst crime. 'Cos the suffering doesn't ever end. Ever."

Jack didn't know what to say.

**The song is REM - Everybody Hurts.**


	10. Flying

Please forgive the huge delay. I blame writers block and exams for conspiring against me. But I have now left college, and got past Christmas so fingers crossed I am back on track. I apologise if sections of this seem rushed, they were. I have had the bulk of it written for months but have been struggling to fill in the gaps. Please review because this could all be rubbish for all I know.

**Chapter 10 - Flying**

"Morning Mickey, I've got a case for you. Mugging during the night on a Michael Edwards, his wife rang us and uniform had a quick look and handed it over to us, here's the file." Jack said dropping the folder into Mickey's hands.

"Cheers, Guv."

"You alright?" Jack said leaning against Mickey's desk.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Been to see that counsellor since?"

"Once." Mickey replied nodding.

"Keep going, yeah? It can't hurt."

---

I looked through the file, it seemed pretty simple. Just interview the victim, have a look at CCTV and check out the local muggers with the same MO.

---

"Good morning, DC Webb from Sun Hill CID, could I speak to Mr Edwards please?"

"Yes," said a tired looking woman. "Come in." She showed him through to a tidy living room.

Sat in a chair was a pale gentleman. "Please sit down." The woman said indicating the chair beside her husband. "I'll make some tea."

"Thank you." Mickey said sitting down.

"I'm DC Mickey Webb from Sun Hill, I understand that you were mugged last night and am here to ask you a few questions, won't take too long. Is that ok?"

The man nodded silently.

"Could you tell me what happened last night, please." Mickey said taking out his notebook and a pen.

"I was walking home from work."

"We're do you work?" Mickey asked looking up from his notes.

"Holbourn Estate Agents, on the high street."

"Yeah I know it. What route did you take?"

"Along East Street, onto the main road and then Rowland Road."

"Where were you attacked?"

"On the corner of Rowland Road."

"What sort of time was this?"

"About quarter to nine."

"Do you often walk home late?"

"No, I stayed late preparing for an important meeting that was supposed to be this morning and my wife had the car to take our eldest daughter to a orthodontist appointment."

"Did you get a good look at your attacker?"

"Not really, he was white, taller than me and had quite long dark hair, but I didn't get a look at his face at all."

"Did he say anything to you."

"He just told me not to make any noise." Mr Edwards looked down avoiding Mickey's eye.

"Did he have an accent at all."

"Er, local, I think."

"Can you tell me exactly what he did."

"He, he grabbed me from behind and told me not to make any noise, then he went through my pockets and took my wallet. Then he kicked me and hit me a few time and ran off."

"He just took your wallet then?"

"Yes."

"Did you have anything else of value on you?"

"Just my mobile."

"Have you got any idea why he didn't take it?"

Mr Edwards just shook his head.

"Can you give me a description of you wallet and what it had in it.

"It was just an ordinary black leather wallet, it had some a few credit cards in it which my wife has cancelled and a few photos of my family and a little cash, ten, twenty quid at the most."

"Could you give me the name of your bank and I can check if anyone tries to use them."

"My wife made a list all the cards." He said handing Mickey a sheet of paper.

"Thank you, that's very helpful. Ok, I think that's all for the time being, is there anything else you'd like to say?"

"No." He said looking down.

"Are you sure?" Mickey asked frowning.

Mr Edwards just nodded.

"Is there something you're not telling me?"

"N, no." He stuttered.

"Ok, here's my card. Just give me a ring if you think of anything else, no matter how unimportant it may seem." Mickey stood up. "I'll see myself out."

After leaving the house Mickey sat in his car for several minutes thinking. He couldn't help thinking that Mr Edwards was lying to him about what had happened, he was convince that there was more to it.

"Any leads on the mugging?" Jack asked when Mickey returned to the CID office.

"Not really, it was in a quiet residential area so no CCTV and the guy didn't get a good look at the attacker, just a vague description, white, tall, longish brown hair and a local accent. That could describe half of Sun Hill. But I don't know, it's like something didn't quite add up. While I was talking to the guy my instincts were shouting that he was hiding something, I'm just not sure what." The conversation stopped suddenly when Mickey's phone started ringing.

"Mickey Webb?"

"It's Helen Edwards, John Edwards' wife. My husband has disappeared, he went out with out saying anything to me just after you left. He's been acting very strangely since last night, I'm really worried about him." Said an anxious voice.

"Ok Mrs Edwards, try and stay calm. Did your husband take a mobile with him?"

"No, he left it here, he didn't even take a coat with him."

"Ok, I'll come round now, I'll be a few minutes." Mickey hung up and turned to Jack.

---

"Mrs Edwards, any word from him?" Mickey said as soon as she opened the door.

"No, he just rushed out of the house, he didn't even take his coat with him."

"Is there anywhere your husband goes if he needs to think?"

"The park, he always has done since he was a kid.

---

He was huddled on a park bench staring into space. "Mr Edwards?" Mickey called gently from a few feet away. "Your wife's really worried about you." Mickey sat down next to him, but at a careful distance away

"I, I couldn't be around her. She deserves better."

"Do you want to talk to me, tell me what really happened last night?"

"Should've stopped him."

"There was nothing you could do."

"Really?" Mr Edwards looked up. "I should've been more of a …" He couldn't find the right word.

"A man?" Mr Edwards nodded miserably. "What happened to you?"

"I tried to stop him, really I did. But I was so scared and he was so strong. He raped me and there was nothing I could do to stop him."

"There was nothing you could've done, if you'd fought more then he might have killed you."

"Wish he had. I feel so, I don't know how I feel."

"I do, you feel numb, and dirty and ashamed. You feel empty, like some huge part of you has been taken, is gone forever."

Mr Edwards looked up at Mickey. "How do you know this?"

Mickey shrugged. "Personal experience." There was a silent understanding between the two men.

"I recognised him, he's been watching me. Thought I was imagining it at first, I've seen him waiting outside work a couple of times."

"But you don't know who he is?"

Mr Edwards shook his head. "No idea."

---

"Mickey, you alright?" Jack asked taking one look at his DC's pale face.

"John Edwards, he wasn't just mugged. He was raped."

Jack paused for a second, looking at Mickey. "I think you should pass this case onto someone else."

"No, I can do it. I have to see this one through, Guv."

"Alright, but if you can't do this, just say."

"Thanks, Guv."

Jack sighs. "So what's your plan?"

"Mr Edwards said that he had seen this guy hanging around outside his work recently, I've got the CCTV recordings from the cameras on the high street, hopefully he'll be on it."

After a number of mind-numbingly boring hours watching the CCTV from the high street Mickey finally caught sight of a man watching Mr. Edwards, he looked back over previous recordings and found the same man turning up repeatedly. During one recording the man gets into a parked car.

Finally, a lead. Mickey thinks thankfully. He quickly traces the registration plate and comes up with the owners name.

---

Gasping for breath, I ran after the man. I was just seconds behind him as we left the woods. In the distance I could hear sirens - back up - and I mentally sighed with relief. I wanted to get this man (and I use that word loosely) more than anyone but the idea of catching him alone terrified me.

I wonder what I am doing here, why I went after this man alone. Was I walking, or rather running, myself into another potentially dangerous situation. Could this all end the same way as before.

What was I thinking of when I traced this man's address? Why on Earth did I not get someone to come with me? Maybe I deserved what Delaney did to me, maybe it was punishment for my repeated stupidity.

I think I can hear sirens in the distance. Help? Or is it my desperate imagination playing tricks on me?

In front of me, he was running across the road and without really considering the consequences I followed after him.

That's where I made my mistake – not looking both ways.

Suddenly I felt an alarmingly large bang followed by a strange sensation of flying which could have lasted many minutes or just a few seconds.

Then another bang and a splitting pain in my head. The last thing I remember is the squealing of breaks, the pounding of running footsteps and the sound of an anxious voice calling my name.


	11. And Landing

Thank you for the reviews. To make up for the long wait I have updated quickly. He're is the final chapter. Please, please review.

**Chapter 11 – And Landing**

For Jack it was like it happened in slow motion, out of the corner of his eye he saw a figure racing towards him, he didn't even have time to register the danger or put his foot on the break. Suddenly the sickening sound of the unknown figure hitting his bonnet and smashing his windscreen, he finally slammed his foot on the break only to see the body fly over the top of the car and land in the road behind him.

Jack jumped out of the car and ran over to the body, it was only then that he realised who it was.

"Mickey!" He shouted anxiously. He knelt down beside him and held his breath as he gently place two fingers to Mickey's neck.

It was very weak but Jack could definitely feel a rapid pulse beating beneath Mickey's skin.

Other officers had begun surrounding them, one saying that the suspect had been arrested and another radioing for an ambulance urgently. Jack could hear the phrase "officer injured" ringing in his ears.

Mickey was lying on his side but Jack knew better than to move him so he instructed Smithy to support Mickey's head and neck while he checked his airway.

"Mickey, can you hear me, can you open your eyes? Mickey?"

There was a faint grunt. "Mickey, can you open your eyes?" His eyelashes fluttered slightly before closing again. "That's it Mickey try again, open your eyes, look at me." Mickey opened his eyes and gazed at Jack for a few seconds, unable to focus on him, then shut them again.

Finally there was the sound of another siren as the ambulance pulled up beside the crowd of officers which had formed around the casualty.

The crowd dispersed as the two paramedics moved towards them leaving only Jack and Smithy where they were.

"What's his name?" Said the male paramedic.

"Mickey, Mickey Webb." Jack replied.

"Do you know what sort of speed the car was going at?"

Jack swallowed loudly. "At least forty."

The paramedic was bent over Mickey. He looked up at his colleague and said, "can you get the spinal board and oxygen, Mel."

"Sure." She replied and disappeared back to the ambulance with Tony Stamp to help her.

She returned a few seconds later and lay the spinal board down beside them.

"OK," the male paramedic said, "we're going to turn him onto his back but keeping his head, neck and spine all still in line. If I take his head from you," He said looking at Smithy.

"On the count of three roll, one, two, three." The female paramedic slid the board under Mickey as they rolled him back onto it.

Jack stood back and watched the scene unfold like what from a tv drama. He was unable to do anything except watch, his eyes were frozen on the limp body before him.

---

Jack was sat hunched up in a chair in a waiting room in the hospital. The hand of the clock on the wall in front of him was moving so slowly that Jack thought that it had stopped, frozen in time. he jumped as the door opened for the first time in hours.

"Mr. Meadows?" A balding gentleman asked.

"Yes." Jack said standing immediately.

"Please sit down. I'm Mr. Harding. I've been openration on your colleague. We were concerned about interal injuries and during the operation we discovered some damage to the liver and kidneys but that had been rectified and we expect Mr. Webb to make a ful recovery. He also has concussion but again he will be fine. He's been taken to a ward and a nurse will be along soon to show you there. You can sit with him until he wakes up." The surgeon stood up and Jack imitated him.

"Thank you, thank you so much." Jack stuttered, relief washing over him.

"You're welcome."

---

Jack sat anxiously beside Mickey's bed once again. Memories of the night of the suicide attempt came flooding back, he felt the same gut-wrenching fear as he had then but now he also felt guilt because this time he was the direct cause of Mickey's suffering. It was his and only his fault that Mickey was lying unconscious before him.

His shoulders were painful due to hours of tensed muscles.

"I'm sorry, Mickey." He muttered every few minutes.

---

Through the haze I could hear someone talking to me, I didn't know where I was or what I was doing there but I could hear the muffled words from a familiar voice and I knew with the recognition of that voice that I was safe.

I tried to open my eyes but they were so hungry that I could not lift the lids. Suddenly I was hit by a wave of pain in my stomach and head. I let out a unwilling groan.

---

"Mickey?" Jack said anxiously, convinced that he had imagined the slight moan.

"What happened." Mickey asked, his voice slightly slurred.

"You were in an accident, you were hit by a car, my car. I'm sorry, Mickey."

"No, wasn't your fault, I ran out in front of you, it was my fault."

"Your going to be alright though. The doctor said you've got concussion and so internal bruising but no lasting damage." Jack said quickly as if he was trying to convince himself that he hadn't killed Mickey.

"I was chasing a suspect. What happened to him?"

"Sam and Phil picked him up a few minutes down the road. He's been arrested and kept in custody."

"Good, he, he raped John Edwards. I can't believe I went after him alone, I don't learn, I don't change."

"You have changed, you're stronger. A few years ago, even a few months ago, you could have done that. You couldn't have spoken to Mr. Edwards, you couldn't have handled it and you couldn't have gone after a rapist alone. You're stronger now than you ever have been."

---

And suddenly I realised that Jack was right. Delaney hadn't ruined my life. I'll never forget what he did to me, I couldn't, I never will. It's been the most traumatic thing that has ever happened to me but I've coped.

Even before I was attacked, before I was raped, I couldn't have dealt with John Edwards so sensitively because I simply wouldn't have understood. I couldn't have comprehended the devastating feeling of self loathing that he felt because only if you've been through it could you really understand how you would feel.

My mum always used to say that what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger, and she was right. It didn't kill me and it has made me stronger.

And, ok, so I'm still going to have bad days, I'm still going to have nightmares and fears and issues, and I'm still going to be suffering because of it but I can accept that. I'm not going to let it stand in my way any longer, I'm not going to let it ruin my life because it's over now and I'm not going to let him win.

My secret fear has always been that when faced with it I wouldn't be able to handle a male rape case but I have.

I've been through the darkest period of my life and come out the other side, it feels like the Sun has been turned back on and I can feel the warmth of it on my skin. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it's getting brighter.

What he did was a terrible thing but he has no right to ruin my life. I won't let Delaney control me any longer. It's my life and I'm going to live it.


End file.
